Tag Archives: expectations

Compassion on ice

Last week, we decided to make the most of the eternal winter by going ice skating. Our four-year-old had never been on the ice so I quickly grabbed a support frame for her to push around. I had every expectation that she would hold on to that thing with a death grip for the entire outing. Two minutes later she was using the bar to perform swinging acrobatic tricks. After ten minutes had gone by, she ditched the frame and successfully attempted to skate on her own, throwing in a few wobbly twists and turns.

As parents and practitioners, we set up frameworks of support for those in our care. With these supports comes the responsibility to watch carefully. Some folks need to hold on to those bars for a long time, others just need the support to get started. Our job is to let go of our agenda and respond with compassion.

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Marriage is weird

Marriage is weird
On a rare occasion, I love terrible T.V. Most recently, that means: “Married at First Sight.” The idea is that three U.S. couples marry someone that “the experts” have arranged for them. It made me start to think about how odd marriage it is: you meet someone, then as a rule, you make a deal that you will treat each other differently than you would treat anyone else. In a way, each one of our relationships is like a marriage of sorts. There are unwritten rules on how to treat colleagues, friends, house guests and elevator partners… Whether in a marriage or in a meeting, following the rules leads to a larger chance of success.

Here’s the question: How do we learn the rules?